Keep You Safe
by ficdirectory
Summary: Sequel to You Don't Even Know. Blaine doesn't like people touching his hair. Fill for two prompts from the Glee Fluff Meme. Allusions to Season 3. WARNING: Mentions bullying.


"What are you doing?" Blaine asks between kisses. He tilts his head away as Kurt tries to run his hands through Blaine's hair.

"Kissing you," Kurt manages. "Why? Is it bad?" he asks, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Not the kissing," Blaine allows. "The hair."

"What?"

"Leave the hair alone," Blaine says, more firmly this time.

"Why? I told you at prom I loved seeing the real you. I meant it," Kurt says honestly.

Because he sees no other choice, Blaine gently pushes Kurt's hands away. "Just don't do it."

"If that's what you want," Kurt says, momentarily put off. Then, a slow smile makes its way onto his face. "I can still touch you other places though, right?"

"Oh, of course," Blaine says confidently, leaning in for another kiss. And just like that, his hair is forgotten.

* * *

Kurt has no idea how Blaine can fall asleep during _The Phantom of the Opera_, but somehow, he's done it. Kurt, on the other hand, is wide awake, reveling in the music and the story - wishing that his boyfriend could stay up past midnight once in his life. However, having his boyfriend, sprawled across the couch - his head resting in Kurt's lap - isn't a bad thing. Kurt is actually enjoying the intimacy of it.

_Think of Me_ is gently playing in the background, making Kurt think of intricate vocal harmonies, heartache and romance. Kurt sings along softly, grateful that they have the house mostly to themselves. His dad is away on business and Finn is already in training for the army. Only Carole is at home tonight. Absently, Kurt sings along with the song on TV and runs his fingers through Blaine's hair.

Suddenly, Blaine jerks upright, gasping. He's seen this last year, after prom. Kurt knows Blaine has a propensity for panic attacks. But the suddenness of this is enough to give Kurt a heart attack, figuratively speaking.

Blaine is pale and he still can't seem to get his breath. All Kurt can think Blaine's had a nightmare, and sets about trying to comfort him, but Blaine flinches away.

"Don't touch me," he gasps. "I told you not to touch me."

Kurt raises both hands, and moves to the floor in front of Blaine. He'll do anything he can to head this off before it gets bad. "Okay. I won't touch you. I promise."

But Blaine still can't get it together. He's hunched, pale, and breathing hard. "You were," he states, his eyes dark and accusing.

Kurt thinks back quickly, caught at the memory of his hand in Blaine's hair. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I'm not gonna hurt you, okay?"

At this, Blaine lets out a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overreact it's just…"

"Just what?" Kurt prompts gently, taking Blaine's hand.

"A couple years after I got out of the hospital…" Blaine trails off and then starts again. "When I was in sixth grade, a bunch of eighth graders held me down, while one of them shaved my head and both my eyebrows…" Blaine's voice is barely above a whisper. It's regretful. It's ashamed.

It hits Kurt all at once. Blaine's mention of the hospital. The Relay for Life the Warblers and New Directions attended last year, where they found out Blaine had survived kidney cancer as a child.

"I lost my hair once, you know? I was in third grade. When I could go to school, I went, bald and sick. My hair didn't even start to grow back until I was almost ten. I was self-conscious about it anyway, and then to have them…do that…it just… I don't know. I never wanted people touching it after that. It scares me. It brings it all back. The chemo. Being sick all the time. Getting held back a year. But mostly, the feeling of those kids pinning me to the ground in the boys' bathroom and laughing while they shaved me bald."

Kurt listens, staying quiet.

"I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind if _you_ touched it. It might be kind of romantic. I just can't stop that automatic response. I know you would never hurt me, and that's why it's so frustrating. I just want to enjoy my time with you and not have my mind racing all the time, about the possibility of having my hair messed with."

"Well, maybe I can help," Kurt offers. "If it's something you'd trust me with."

"Okay," Blaine whispers and leans in for a kiss.

* * *

"Oh, gosh, I didn't think you meant right now!" Blaine exclaims, laughing nervously as Kurt reaches up to brush some stray curls out of Blaine's face. He knows if he's going to do this, he's got to do it now. Otherwise, he'll have a ton of gel to contend with and gel and gentle touches didn't mix. It made sense that now, with Blaine's hair free of product and post-shower to proceed with easing Blaine into this.

"It's all right," he says softly, even as Blaine flinches.

"Sorry," he says sheepishly.

"Don't apologize. To go through everything you've been through and to be where you are? And to be the person you are? It's amazing," Kurt says, and he means it. He moves deliberately until he's sitting on the couch beside Blaine again. "Want to lay your head down again?" Kurt asks, patting his lap.

"That's rhetorical, isn't it?" Blaine asks, and Kurt can see he's not comfortable.

"No, it's honest. And it's up to you."

"But I'm never going to get over this if I don't do this," Blaine says. He's about to sprawl out on the couch again, when Kurt stops him.

"Hold on. I have an idea," he says, taking Blaine by the hand.

Then, Kurt goes to his room and digs through the piles of stuff until he comes up with his I-Home, which he brought to Blaine's and they brought back here. He searches until he's found just the right mix. Instrumental soundtrack pieces from various movies - _The Other Boleyn Girl_, _Titanic, Star Trek, King's Speech, Braveheart, Prince Caspian, Tangled, Spiderman, Lion King _and _X-Men First Class_.) These songs always soothe Kurt, and he's hoping they might do the same for Blaine. He's hoping they give him some peaceful input instead of remembering the trauma of an electric shaver and idiot classmates.

Once the music is playing, Blaine tentatively takes his place again. He's looking so anxiously at Kurt that Kurt has to speak up again.

"You can get up whenever. I'm not holding you down. Okay?" Kurt asks.

"Yeah," Blaine responds, sounding a little breathless.

Kurt starts out small, brushing curls off of Blaine's forehead, trying to stay calm as he watches Blaine flinch reflexively every single time. Then, he moves on to running a hand through Blaine's hair. Kurt can feel him tense up.

"Just breathe. Look at me. Listen to the music. This is supposed to be relaxing," Kurt coaxes.

When Blaine is okay with that, Kurt goes for it. He doesn't tell Blaine beforehand, because he doesn't want to freak him out. He just gently starts massaging Blaine's scalp.

Blaine's eyes - which have been closed - fly open in alarm. His entire body stiffens.

"It's a massage," Kurt reassures. "It's okay. If you want, you can give _me _one. I love them."

It doesn't take long for Kurt to realize he needs another approach. So, he slides off the bed and beside Blaine. He takes one hand and starts small, massaging each finger, the thumb, the hand, the wrist and up the arm. Then, he does the other side. This has done the trick and Blaine is thoroughly relaxed now.

"I'm going to try this again," Kurt says softly, easing Blaine's head into his lap.

"Mm-hmm," Blaine confirms sleepily, but Kurt can see his jaw clench.

"Maybe open your eyes so you can see I'm not an eighth grade Neanderthal," Kurt laughs softly.

"Probably a good idea," Blaine confirms, and squints against the bedroom light.

"I'm sorry this happened to you," Kurt says tenderly.

"Okay," Blaine responds. It sounds a little wooden..

"How are you doing?" Kurt asks, trying to massage away the worry in Blaine's forehead.

"I don't know. It feels weird," Blaine admits.

"Do you want me to stop? I can stop if you want."

"No, keep going. I think I like it. It's just kind of hard to tell."

"Well, in my book, that's progress." Kurt says thoughtfully, easing Blaine's head up and rubbing his neck. "You seem better," he observes, easing back into his hair.

This time, Blaine doesn't flinch. His eyes fall closed. For several minutes, there is silence. Then, finally, Blaine speaks.

"I feel really safe with you," he confides softly, his eyes falling closed.

"I'll always keep you safe," Kurt promises, his voice a whisper.

_The End._


End file.
